07717737874
enquires@sarahjchapman.com
A Snapshot of the Science
Sarah J Chapman • August 5, 2020
If we were being entirely rational, fully armed with science – we would know that actually what we perceive as ‘reality’ could only ever be part of the story as we can only take in a fraction of the information coming at us in any one moment. Our minds instinctively generalise, to work efficiently the brain categorises in an evolutionary effort to assist decision making. The problem is that sometimes this instinctive generalisation acts like a honing device, finely tuned to spot certain things that could be a threat – that is why the things you notice almost ALWAYS support what you already knew (or thought you knew) and it tends to be something less positive than thoughts such as ‘the world is a wonderful place’, ‘I love my life’… If those are the thoughts you regularly have, you probably don’t need me. For most of us our RAS is less positive…the RAS is a part of the brain (Reticular Activating System) that kicks in when you have focused thoughts on something specific, and then it notices more and more examples of the same thing. You have probably experienced the RAS system in action when you bought a new car for and then all of a sudden you see it everywhere or when you are pregnant you spot all the pregnant ladies (maybe men see all the babies in prams with dads pushing? I never thought about that – someone who was due to be a dad … tell me the answer). Whilst it is harmless when it is a car being sought out by the brain or pregnant ladies, it is often unhelpful and even destructive when the thought you have is damaging to relationships or your personal development.
Imagine that you had an event in your life where you found that your trust was misplaced, or you personally acted in a way that you would view as untrustworthy when other people trusted you. You may as a result of this past experience have some level of belief that you cannot trust people. It is an unfortunate design of nature that your RAS will seek out evidence to support what it thinks it already knows to be true. So you are less likely to ever take note of the information coming to you that undermines this belief that humans are untrustworthy and far more likely to store every single incident or at least a feeling about the incident where someone proved you to be right. And that is how our stories trip us up, that is how we think we are experiencing ‘reality’ when actually our brains are being so efficient that they are narrowing the real information available. NLP is at its essence a tool that helps the individual stop, step out of the narrative, and view all the information.
Now you have a tiny snapshot of how we form and you can imagine how then retelling them (as much fun as it is) reinforces our stories which then in turn further arms the RAS in order to further preempt what urns up in our life as the RAS looks for it. You can hopefully now better understand how stories layered on top of each other become your whole life and hopefully my ramblings will have been helpful enough that you understand my work better and the #writeanewstory
The reason I talk about language 'so much' is because it is key to every relationship (including the one you have with your self). How you talk, choices you make with your language, structural choices - even the intonation and speed you use reveals your thought patterns (internal dialogue) and further compounds your experience of the world around you. So here's the thing... I think right now we would all agree that we want a world with more peace, more unity and more love. How does my use of language have anything to do with that? Read the whole blog to find out. In brief, I believe that more peace is the same as less conflict and that starts with each of us individually. It is about how we interact with the people around us, it's the butterfly effect. My interactions in my daily life affect every human being I come into contact with which in turns affects (or has the potential to) every person they come into contact with and so on. Discovering the secrets in everyday interaction and understanding self-talk will one hundred percent help you understand yourself and others better. It is one of the keys to unlocking a way to greater peace in your life, greater possibility for unity rather than division and conflict and the ability to love yourself and others more. And, yes it is all possible through a greater understanding of the way we use language.
There is one word that fascinates me. You might be surprised which one it is. JUST...
Thoughts will come and go - you choose which to engage with
